I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 84. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. If youre born in America you get a front row seat. ~ (George Carlin). If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? ~ (George Carlin). Last Updated: 29th April, 2023 14:09 IST International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp Messages, Wishes, Greetings, Quotes To Share Celebrate International Dance Day 2023 on April 29 by sending WhatsApp messages, wishes, greetings and quotes to those whose passion is dancing. 36. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. ~ (George Carlin). He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever f*** things up this badly. Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin quotes about politics. When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? ~ (George Carlin). 47. 59. SCOTUS Now Just Another Congressional Committee, Trump Ramps up Attacks on DeSantis: 'Dropping Like a Rock', Russian Strikes on Pavlohrad Aim to Hamper Ukraine's Counteroffensive, Greg Abbott Criticized for Response to Texas Shooting: 'A New Low', Democrat Sold First Republic Stock, Bought JP Morgan Before Collapse, Conservative Influencers Struggle With Countering Biden's Messaging. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The [], Characterized by a direct and lucid prose, uncluttered from literary devices that seek to please or entertain, George Orwell, was [], How many possible words and phrases are there to express love and romance? And why would it be America out of all the countries? The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. ~ (George Carlin). 86. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. ~ (George Carlin). ", "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. 68. I dont have a fear of heights. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. ~ (George Carlin). People like to twist that around. -- "Dance for yourself. Electricity is really just organized lightning. 122. I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. ~ (George Carlin). Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. I have as much authority as the Pope. 105. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Never argue with an idiot. The people are fucked. If he were working today theyd call him a right-wing conspiracy theorist. Whether Carlin would like it or not, his observations continue to be relevant in our present state. Teach them to question everything. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Carlins incisive approach and meaningful insight was thought provoking, providing a framework for introspection, prompting us to think out of the box and to challenge ourselves and our belief systems.Here we have collected for you the most inspirational and insightful quotes of this provocative and counterculture comedian to share with loved ones in order to brighten their day and make them smile, but also to enhance your views about the world we live in and make you see things from a different perspective for a better life! Animals are completely innocent. - George Carlin International Dance Day 2023: Wishes and Messages for the occasion Some people see the glass half full. Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. 110. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. Surround yourself with what you love. ~ (George Carlin). Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. ~ (George Carlin). 108. See more ideas about george carlin, carlin, quotes. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. ~ (George Carlin). Its what our system produces: Garbage in. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 17. I have lots of ideas. 87. Be happy with what youve got. People are dreaming if they think they have rights. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. ', 'The planet is fine. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. Fuck em. 104. If at first you dont succeed, redefine success. ~ (George Carlin). 78. Always do whatevers next. ~ (George Carlin). ", "Selling is legal. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. In America, anyone can become president. If you love someone, set them free. Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. 39. George Carlin. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. 44. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. And how many more manners and gestures [], Quiet spoken, with an amiable smile and an elfin like quality, Eckhart Tolle is the author of international bestsellers The [], Class struggle, class consciousness, alienation, communism and the face of Karl Marx in numerous posters in teenagers and students [], At the age of 12 he tamed a wild stallion, Bucephalus, that later became his beloved companion in battle, and [], Born in 1452, in Anchiano, Tuscany, Leonardo di ser Piero Da Vinci was best known for his paintings of Mona [], Truly adorable and friendly, Leo Buscaglia, aka Dr. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. ~ (George Carlin). They should be giving their money to you. ~ (George Carlin). If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ~ (George Carlin). It will be a lot of fun. 119. Powered by Shopify. However, most of his bile was reserved for conservatives and Republicans. Pro-lifethese people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! Why is it called tourist season if we cant shoot at them? ~ (George Carlin). One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. In Carlin's day, the troglodyte hardline evangelic conservative always tried to rule society's language and morality with an iron fist. Thats the problem. ~ (George Carlin). You don't. They don't like women. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ~ (George Carlin). He joked about it but he was dead serious. His comedy routines and sayings are among the most widely spread in our society. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. The planet is fine. It will not be with jack-boots. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state. 10. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. 31. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. 1. Never forget that Hitler was a Catholic. ~ (George Carlin). Here are some powerful quotes of pure humor and sparkling intellect to follow you through the day! ", "Careful. Maybe something else sucks around here like: THE PUBLIC. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. ~ (George Carlin). Though some of these people have always been fans, his social commentary and political criticisms have found new meaning--and a new home--among the right.Though the right-wing and left-wing have "claimed" George Carlin as one of their own heroes, his allegiance was always to himself (another great libertarian tenet), and wasn't going to shill for anyone.If Carlin was ever a hero, it was always for the individual, the rebel, the outcast. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away. ~ (George Carlin). Laugh until you gasp for breath. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. 13. Results like these do not belong on the rsum of a Supreme Being. Why would God have a favorite country? 11. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. And probably increase. ~ (George Carlin). Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. ~ (George Carlin). There's only the immediate future and the recent past. Everyone experiences pain, of course. If this is the best God can do, Im not impressed. ~ (George Carlin). If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. Our carefully collected [], Mary Astell (12 November 1666 11 May 1731), considered the first English Feminist, is a philosopher that has been [], Rappers are known for their high self-confidence. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. 61. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. Teach them to question everything. Report 48 points POST Looking at you religion. I had an imaginary friend I didnt bother with him. ~ (George Carlin). And theyre elected by American citizens. And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. ~ (George Carlin). Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". ", "The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. It's always people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. This is the best we can do folks. When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. 5. 2. George Carlin Its never going to get any better, dont look for it. 14. Religion is just mind control. ~ (George Carlin). FUCK THEM. A close adviser to President [], Led Zeppelin is probably the most epic rock band of all time. As for the poor, [conservatives] tell us [the poor]'ve lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. Because if its really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? The challenge is to find it. ~ (George Carlin). Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin Featured in: George Carlin Quotes Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. George Carlin George Carlin Quotes 500 WALLPAPERS 8,907 POINTS Seneca Quotes 95. Something is definitely wrong. An outsider: someone not part of the group. 67. I think that speaks for itself. Deal with it. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both f***ed. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. ~ (George Carlin). 30 Best George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The planet is fine. Instead of division let's have a laugh about what we share in common. If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. 8. Germany lost the Second World War. "Hmm? The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ~ (George Carlin). Everything He ever makesdies. Because he likes our National Anthem? April 20, 2023, by Libertarian Country As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.[6]. They don't want to hear from you. I dont get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. ~ (George Carlin). These bright quotes will inspire you to not to take things so seriously in life! 25. Others see it half empty. When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. 55. https://t.co/f7cD8Ng2AA. For Exclusive Deals, New Product Alerts, Free Articles, Libertarian News & More! Maybe this time it'll work. George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. Gov Greg Abbott is using the border crisis to hurt Black-run, Media Matters bombshell: Tucker Carlson caught slamming streaming service Fox Nation, Donald Trump to participate in a CNN presidential town hall next week, Hillary Clinton shares a graph to slam Trump on natl debt & gets help finishing it, See if you can figure out what President Joe Biden is doing in this clip, Charles Payne spots yet another reason to ban congressional stock trading ASAP, NBC News Ben Collins is sick and tired of editorial boards not talking to actual reporters like, CNN asks why SO many of us are unhappy with the country and THIS is why we cant have nice things, Group that went to bat for UVA hate crime hoaxer rages at right-wing media for telling the, Here's the Montana state rep who'd rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just 'to exist', Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Biden's laptop was not disinformation, California Do Not Sell My Personal Information, George Carlin wouldnt even want to be claimed as your partisan hero and if that offends you his legacy lives on. All rights reserved. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. Feel free to indulge in the philosophy and comedy of George Carlin, expect to be offended at least part of the time. Men are stupid. 15. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. "I have certain rules I live by. No contest. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. Thats the problem. 70. Two reasons I dont vote: first of all, its meaningless. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. ", "You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles. ~ (George Carlin). That in of itself should make you think.Carlin performed many standup comedy routines and HBO specials, acted in dozens of television and movie productions, recorded spoken-word albums, and was the author of several books, with titles like Brain Droppings (97) and Napalm and Silly Putty (01).What I loved about Carlin was his dedication to freethinking and independent thought. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? WebAmerican stand-up comedian George Carlin is notable for his long-standing popularity from the early 60s up until his death in 2008. Here, we bring you 27 of the best George Carlin quotes of all time. Its because volunteers work for no pay. There are, at least, some points we can all agree on. Many libertarians--such as us--praise Carlin for his intelligent social criticisms and contributions to a countercultural ethos that perpetually challenges political orthodoxy. So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. 24. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. You have no choice. Everybody says they suck. WebBest George Carlin Quotes 1. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.. Being Irish isn't a skillit's a fucking genetic accident. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? The new kid in a high school with a thousand other teenagers. We invite you and ask you to help us update this wiki by editing it. 81. His comedy and social critique will live on through the ages. Tweet. Fascism won it. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. "In America, anyone can become president. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians.
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