Your mileage may vary depending on your enthusiasm for his smirking frat-boy comedy. A Million Ways to Die in the West, Seth MacFarlane's follow-up to Ted, has a solid cast and holds promise, but the trailers simply gave all the best jokes away. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a moronic 2. Comedy 2014 1 hr 55 min. Then Stark must put his newfound bravery to the test when Anna's outlaw husband arrives with plans to plant him in an unmarked grave. Copyright 2023 Meredith Corporation. Anna: There is something about connecting over mutual hatred that is just so much deeper than mutual love. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. 15. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. As . Old Stump Bluegrass. Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: [after shooting someone] people die at the fair. 2014 | Maturity rating: 16+ | 1h 55m | Comedies. Albert: Oh my god, please! He gets no comfort or love from his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried), who breaks his heart by dumping him for moustachioed playboy Foy (the reliably funny Neil Patrick Harris). The film follows Albert Stark (MacFarlane) who feels certain that the western frontier is trying to kill him while coping from his break-up with his girlfriend. Overly crude jokes and gross-out humor drag comedy down. Seth MacFarlane directs, produces, co-writes and plays the role of the cowardly sheep farmer Albert in A Million Ways to Die in the West. Given his knack for singing the guy truly is multi-talented MacFarlane might have done better with following the musical comedy example of Paint Your Wagon rather than the slapstick of Mel Brooks for his western swing. Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. Edward: Please don't shoot us on sex night. Edward: Yeah. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. The joke evolved into "riffing on the idea of how dull, depressing, and dangerous it must have been to live in the Wild West." Missing Trailer Scene: The bit with the doctor . His running gag about how people never smile in old-fashioned photographs might have seemed hilarious on paper but it certainly isnt on the screen. There may indeed be A Million Ways to Die in the West, as the title of Seth MacFarlanes parody western asserts. with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. [leaves]. Vulgar, crude, self-referential, and irreverent, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a typical Seth MacFarlane comedy. I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am. Casting was done between December 2012 and March 2013. Albert cant abide the mindless brutality, appalling hygiene and constant danger of life in Old Stump, the tumbleweed town he reluctantly calls home: Everything out here thats not you wants to kill you.. Quotes.net. After backing out of a duel and losing his girlfriend, sheep farmer Albert slowly rebuilds his self-respect with the help of a married woman. Albert: and all I had to do was distract you while the poison entered your bloodstream. "There it is!" "Dear God, look at it!" "It's beautiful!". Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as f***. Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. Doctors! To order copies of Narrator: Some people are born into the wrong time and place. When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. Offers may be subject to change without notice. Amick Byram. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. Enter Anna, played by Charlize Theron, a regular Annie Oakley who takes a shine to Albert and wants to show him how to cock his pistol. There is a post-credits sequence involving the gunman at the fair from the final scene. This was the American frontier in 1882, a hard land for hard folk. Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. Our old schoolmarm got her throat slit by a fast moving tumbleweed. It's 1882 in Arizona, the heartland of the American West. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - He Drank the Whole Bowl! Terms and Policies Depressed and discouraged by how his life is full of disappointment and how every instance of love is then destroyed and robbed from him, Albert finds comfort in Anna (Charlize Theron), a newcomer to his small village. The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman and Liam Neeson. He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been.. RELATED: 10 Funniest Quotes From Ted While A Million Ways to Die in the West was nowhere . And then, for a good reason, Albert gets dumped by his charming girlfriend, Louise, only to fall head over heels in love with the intriguingly mysterious, horse-riding and pistol-packing stranger, Anna. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! A Million Ways to Die in the West. Anna: Oh, thank God, 'cause I was like ah [mimics gun to her head] , kill me. Republication or distribution of this content is Yet the screenplay he penned with Family Guy/Ted hands Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild is slapdash at best. permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. Albert: You know what else can kill you? 'A Million Ways to Die in the West': Inside the 'Mustache Song'. Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: Somebody bring me one of them white women. Check out the interactive photo below for more details on the scene. Albert recklessly challenges Foy to a gunfight a week hence, even though the hapless sheep minder literally cant shoot to save his life. However, when the infamous West outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) arrives in town, Albert realizes that he has just intruded on Clinch and Anna's husband-and-wife relationship, and Clinch is hungry for retribution. I don't wanna put myself through that kind of f***ing aggravation. A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. MacFarlane deserve some credit for allowing Theron to upstage him, sometimes just with a knowing look. I read an article in the paper. It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. May 29, 2014. Ditto the overdone sideshow of Sarah Silvermans energetic town prostitute bonding with Giovanni Ribisis bible-thumping virginal shoemaker. Filming began on May 6, 2013, in various locations in New Mexico including Alburquerque and Santa Fe, and it concluded on August 9 that year. Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Directed by Seth MacFarlane. If You've Only Got a Moustache. Albert: Yeah. https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_110222, A Million Ways to Die in the West Screenplay, A Million Ways to Die in the West's quotes, https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_quotes_110222. Entertainment Weekly is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation All Rights Reserved. A Million Waysto Die in the West is a gross-out Gunsmoke, with MacFarlane directing an old-timey facsimile of his modern self in the lead role of Albert, a cowardly sheep herder in the Arizona of 1882. Millie: You're okay with your girlfriend screwing, like, 15 different guys every day and getting paid to do it? Food was scarce, disease was rampant, and life was a daily struggle for survival. Entertainment Weekly may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". And if they dont work the first time, hell try and try again. Edward: Okay, i'm gonna close the bible now. Even as a self-described non-dancer, MacFarlane knows how to assemble the right team for a showstopper. Listen to "A Million Ways to Die" below and let us know what you think. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. By Stephen Holden. Starring: Seth MacFarlane,Charlize Theron,Liam Neeson. The film received mixed reviews from critics, with criticism directed toward the film's length and MacFarlane's performance. Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Tries To Teach Albert How To Shoot, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Foy Mocks Albert On Their Way To The Shooting Gallery, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Meets Albert At The Dance. This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. Chinese Date: How should I know? He got . As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Albert: [Before drinking from the bowl with the indian tribe] "Mila Kunis" - subtitled as "Fine". Well, it was still good though. Albert: Yeah, I saw that. A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American Western black comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild.The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman, and Liam Neeson.The film follows a cowardly frontiersman who gains courage with the . The one where EW follows up with the cast. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. 2014 Universal Studios. 27 May 2014 Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Louise: [flustered] They're not that big. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? 1882. Old Stump Bluegrass . For a few chuckles more. expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Toronto Everything out here that's not you wants to kill you, angry drunk people, hungry animals, outlaws, the doctor." Albert gives a breakdown of just a few of the million ways to die in the West. After his directorial debut Ted was widely praised by critics and became one of the highest-grossing R-rated comedies ever made, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane had the freedom to do whatever he wanted with . Not only did he adapt a song from the period, but he also hired a veteran choreographer and an army of Broadway dancers for the sequence. Seth MacFarlane, Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West: A Novel. I went to your farm the other day, and I saw one in the back yard, three way up on the ridge, two in the pond and one on the roof. As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. It was released on DVD and Blu-ray on October 7, 2014, and earned more than $15 million in home media sales. Indian Chief: (after Albert's drug trip hallucination; in Athabaskan) Did you shoot the black condor and then kicked it in the balls? McNeely bases his playful and robust score on classic silver screen-era Westerns, offering up a pastiche that's both reverent and self-aware, while the theme song, which is performed by Alan Jackson, and "If You've Only Got a Mustache," the latter of which is performed by Grammy-nominated American tenor Amick Byram, are as goofy as they are . Basically, if it's not you, it wants to kill you, and just might succeed. Development for A Million Ways to Die in the West began while MacFarlane and co-writers Sulkin and Wild were watching western movies during the development of Ted. Internet Service Terms One father scolded his young son, "Take your hat off! This version also has even more footage in deleted scenes, and an alternate beginning and ending. Its justits a song about sperm, and yet they treat it with such legitimacy in their orchestration and their vocal performance and their choreography, and its this huge number with what looks to be over 100 dancers on screen. He knows how to make people laugh, as demonstrated in his Family Guy TV series, his movie smash Ted and in sporadic moments of his gig hosting the Oscars last year. Anna: I mean we're basically splitting this country 50/50 with them. PREVIEW. Anna and Albert. And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's Albert: Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? George Stark: [Farts] That came out of my penis! But I got great tits. I suck at dancing. I mean, sure it's faster than the Pony Express, but what good is it if you can't send a picture of your dick? If MacFarlane had spent as much time crafting jokes as he did writing the lyrics for the amusing title tune (sung by country ace Alan Jackson) and the catchy mid-film number The Mustache Song, A Million Ways to Die in the West would have been a much better movie. A Million Ways to Die in the West. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. It's like they lose the power to innovate because they're staring at the stick hoop all day. "Don't go snackin' if you been tobaccin'.". A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. Cochise: There is an ancient proverb among my people: Sometimes the only way for a man to find true happiness is to take drugs in a group. Anna: I don't think you should leave tomorrow. No better way to make your ex-girlfriend want you back more than to let her see you with another girl. You know, like snakes. "A Million Ways to Die in the West" lacks the inspired lunacy of Mel Brooks' timeless Western, and won't last the ages as a seminal swipe at the genre, but at least MacFarlane gives the . MacFarlane also relied on veteran singer and two-time Grammy nominee Amick Byram to do the vocals. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Great Scott. Albert: No, no, no, no! Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. If You've Only Got a Moustache. Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Jurassic Park Movies Ranked By Tomatometer, RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes, Weekend Box Office Results: Super Mario Joins the Billion-Dollar Club. Link to Are You There God? What should be an ensemble comedy is more of a showcase for MacFarlane, who also co-writes and takes production and music credits. Albert: Hey, sorry I killed your husband. She has a problem with retardation, but she's full of love. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. All rights reserved. R. 1h 56m. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Seth MacFarlane, the rowdy "Family Guy" creator who wrote, directed, and stars in the new comedy "A Million Ways to Die in the West," stopped by TODAY Thursday to talk about the film. - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. Albert: Okay, all right, get ready. Vulgar -- yes, but just not funny. Isn't the fair on Saturday? 2 likes. Like. to colleagues, clients or customers, or inquire about MacFARLANE: It always depends on the gag, more than the person. Listen to A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition] by Joel McNeely on Apple Music. The one thing a sheep farmer has to do is keep all of the sheep in one place, all right? Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. I suck at sheep. Barn Dance Comedian: I tell you, folks, this telegraph machine, that thing is nuts. Edward: Albert, he's dead. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. 33%. Well, did he at least hear all the smart things I said? But jokes that weren't funny the first time aren't funny the sixth time, either. As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . If you can get a song in there, its just a nice Hollywood tradition.. It's Me, Margaret. To order Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. Apple TV & Privacy Hell, this was Miss America in 1880 [picture of a leathery middle-aged woman] . The film was number three at the box office during its opening weekend and grossed over $87 million worldwide against a budget of $40 million. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. Albert: She moved to town a couple of years ago to take over the schoolmarm job. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". A Million Ways to Die in the West rides into theaters . Ted became one of the highest-grossing comedies ever made, he pretty much had the freedom to do whatever he wanted for his second movie. All Rights Reserved. This is the curious thing about MacFarlane. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Sh**ty Showdown, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - If You've Only Got a Moustache, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - You Really Do Have a Death Wish. Louise is gonna be there, and she's gonna be with Foy. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. Toronto Star articles, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Conversations are opinions of our readers and are subject to the, The Toronto Star and thestar.com, each property of Toronto Star Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. Albert: Okay, that's Bridget, all right? But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Anyone can read Conversations, but to contribute, you should be a registered Torstar account holder. 2014 Back Lot Music. Now, I knew my aim wasn't good enough to hit you anywhere important. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. [Stark comes running around the corner and falls and his face]. Do you know what kind of hours he has to work? A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - That's a Dollar Bill! Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Link to Asian-American Pacific Islander Heritage, Link to RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. Albert: Oh. Web. Like, My God, you put all this work and all this time and all this artistry into a song about sperm?'. Albert: [At target practice] I fired a gun at the shooting gallery. Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. MacFarlane certainly seems to embrace this contradiction. After all, you can never go wrong combining westerns and music . Albert: [Being offered a pot cookie by Anna] The last time somebody gave me one of these, I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind. And in director/co-writer/star Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West (in theaters today), Neil Patrick Harris, playing the douchebag proprietor of an Old West mustache shop, loses a . Seth MacFarlane writes, directs and stars in this Western about a sheep farmer who falls in love with an outlaw's wife. WARNING: The rest of this article contains minor spoilers for A Million Ways To Die In The West.If you haven't seen the film, read on at your own risk! Albert: "The American west is a terrible place and time. The film was released on May 30, 2014, in the United States, and distributed worldwide by Universal Pictures. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action Little Mermaid with a new generation's Ariel. A 2021 study estimated more than a third of U.S. heat deaths each year can be attributed to human-caused global warming. Joel McNeely composed the score and Media Rights Capital, Fuzzy Door Productions, and Bluegrass Films produced the film. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. By creating an account, you agree to the At least stay through the weekend.
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